On the Road Again: Aren't Five Children Enough?

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If we are blessed to adopt again, this child or children will bring the number of children in our home to six or more.  Frankly, we do not have have a set number of children we feel we should have in our family.  We are allowing the Lord to determine that.  There is no guarantee that we will adopt successfully again, so the Lord could certainly close the door, telling us that our five earthly blessings (in addition to our four babies in heaven) are enough.  We are prayerful either way.

Psalm 127:3-5 says that "children are a heritage from the Lord" -- "a reward", "like arrows".  A man is blessed whose quiver is full of these "arrows".  I don't know about you, but we are grateful for any gift the Lord deems a reward, including children.

If we were still able to have children biologically, we would have desired and been open to any number of blessings directly from my womb as much as we are open to children through adoption.  We had decided that early on in our marriage.  So our desire to adopt another child is not a far stretch for us.  Honestly, it's a supernatural work of the Lord because I have never had dreams of a house full of children.  I didn't like babysitting.  I do not scramble to hold other people's babies.  I am by no means a "kid magnet".

So, the short answer to the question, "Aren't five children enough?", is that we have no idea -- it's whatever the Lord decides.  If we believe the Lord is prompting us to direct our support to other families' adoptions rather than our own, then that's what we'll do.  If we feel the Lord is telling us to direct our energies elsewhere we will do so.  If a birth mother does not choose us, then we cannot adopt through that means.  The Lord may have us wait a few more years, and welcome another older child into our home.  He may bless us with twins -- who knows?  We are trying to be open, ready, and willing for whatever He has in store for us.  ~In Christ, Talya

On the Road Again: WHY? Just WHY?

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No, I don't mean some fantastic road trip across country, seeing the sights... though that would be really fun.  As I posted on Facebook last week, we're on the road to adoption once again.  Yes, we are hoping to welcome a third...or fourth..or... child into our family via adoption.

You may have a few questions:  Aren't five children enough?  Aren't you and Sean, uh, getting up there in age?  Will it be another baby or an older child?  Don't you ever look forward to having an empty nest?  WHY?  Just WHY?

I'll start with the last question first then answer the others in upcoming posts.

We do this because we believe we are called to walk out God's command to care for the fatherless in this way (James 1:27).  So many scripture passages give testimony to God's love for the orphan (Psalm 68:5; Job 29:12; Psalm 10:14).  However, while not everyone is called to adopt, we are all called to care for the fatherless, and this is our way of doing that.  We desire to open our hearts and our home to a child who needs the love and security of a forever family.  We want to share the Gospel with a child, so that he or she will one day come to faith in Christ and share that faith with others, including his/her birth family.

SO MANY children are in need of Christian families to love and care for them.  SO MANY.  Seriously.  In this country alone, over 100,000 children in foster care are freed for adoption, awaiting their forever family (https://www.adoptuskids.org/meet-the-children/children-in-foster-care/about-the-children).  These children are free, meaning the birth parents' parental rights have already been terminated.  Some wait and wait and wait and eventually age out of foster care, left without the intimate support system of a family that many of us take for granted.

On the other hand, each year over 18,000 infants are found adoptive homes through private domestic infant adoption programs (https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/how-to-adopt/domestic-adoption-myths-and-truths/).  Even so, there is still a need for adoptive parents, specifically Black couples, who are willing to throw their hats in the ring.  Too often, Black birthmothers who seek Black parents for their child are unable to choose a Black family because the agency does not have any on their list of waiting families.  We hope to fill some of that void even if it's just in one agency.

Maybe the Lord is calling you to do the same.  Please prayerfully consider it.  The Lord uses us as His hands and feet in this broken world.  The children need you!  ~In Christ, Talya

COMING SOON:  Aren't Five Children Enough?

Finalization, Here We Come!

The Lord has honored our prayer that Beautiful Girl's adoption finalization process would proceed smoothly and quickly -- specifically before we move out of the state!  We are on track to finalize her adoption next Saturday, November 21!!!!  It will take place at a hands-on science center as part of a National Adoption Day event.  When I found out, I enthusiastically told BG that she would officially be part of the family.  She looked at me and matter-of-factly stated, "I'm already officially part of the family."  I chuckled inside because yes, she IS so much part of our family.

I know so many of you have been praying for us.  THANK YOU!!!!!!!  I am so grateful for your prayers and ask that you please continue to pray as we finalize the adoption, continue to adjust as a family, prepare to move 1000 miles away, and transition to a new state.  Whew!  That's a lot for us to handle, but God can handle all of it as we surrender our fears, anxieties and doubts to Him.  ~In Christ, Talya

  "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

 "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6

Months of Transition

BG and Arielle standing for life

This update is mainly for people to whom I have not spoken in the past several months.

BG did indeed move in on June 5.  While we were blessed to have the summer to work on the adjustment and build relationships, the journey continues and will continue for a while.  I'm thinking it takes a year or more to really hit the stride of being a cohesive family, depending on the people and the circumstances.  Nonetheless, the Lord has shown us so much grace so far.

BG fits so well into our family.  For the most part, the children are getting along the way most siblings do.  They like spending time together.  Every night the girls' room (all three sleep in the same room) is still like a slumber party.  Many nights involve stern reminders to "GO TO SLEEP!!!!!"

Are there tough times?  Yes, there are.  I can only imagine what it's like for BG to have to find her place in an already-established family, with its own rules, values, dynamics, expectations.  She's once again had to leave behind the people, places, and things she had come to know.  She's had to change her way of doing some things.  By far, she has had to make the most adjustment.  The other children experience their own growing pains as well.  They sometimes don't understand why BG is given latitude in some areas.  They have struggled with how to deal with conflict with BG.

As parents, Sean and I have had to choose our battles, acknowledging that some things aren't all that important.  On the other hand, we've had to learn what our non-negotiables are and stick with them.  Only over time have I gotten to know that BG actually likes rules and boundaries.  She likes to know explicitly what is expected of her.  She sometimes struggles with expressing herself, but she understands the need to do so and is working hard to communicate even when she doesn't really want to.

One of the most wonderful things about BG is that she loves the Lord and wants to please Him.  She was saved while with her foster mother.  It's a joy to see her reading her Bible.  She soaks it all in when Sean talks about Scripture during our Bible time.  In August, she decided she wanted to be baptized out of obedience to the Lord.  It was a precious moment to share with her.

BG's caseworker comes out every month for a home visit.  I think we are still on track to finalize in late November/early December.  They were supposed to file the Consent to Adopt at the end of September, but they realized they did not have BG's birth records, which are necessary for the filing.  They now need to request them.  This will delay things.  How much?  I have no idea.  We are planning to move back East late December or very early January, so I hope finalization comes before then.  Please join us in prayer that it will be so.  Trying to move before finalization has its own complexities that we would like to avoid, if possible.  ~In Christ, Talya

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."  ~John 14:18

Move-In Day is Coming!

We just learned that Beautiful Girl (BG) will be moving in this Friday, June 5.   I am thrilled and slightly overwhelmed.  Yes, we'd been looking forward to move-in and had a ballpark time frame, but we thought we would have more than two days' notice of the exact date.  In fact, BG just left our house this afternoon after an extended weekend visit.  She won't learn of the move date until she gets back home in an hour or so.

We just completed our eighth weekend visit.  All the visits have gone better than I anticipated.  The Lord is definitely orchestrating this transition and our adjustment.  I still have some parenting issues to work out.  I've let some small things slide with BG.  This past weekend, I had to apologize for presenting a false, more laid back view of myself.  I had been treating her more like a weekend visitor than the daughter that she is.

BG and the other children have been getting along well.  She, Arielle, and Rachel have a lot in common and could stay up late every night talking and laughing.  BG loves taking care of Isaiah.  She and Josiah sometimes butt heads, but in the end, I think there's affection there.  It's a work in progress.

This is just the beginning of our family's journey together.  The journey is a complex one.  Please continue to pray for us.  We anticipate to finalize BG's adoption at the end of the year.  ~In Christ, Talya

"We love because he first loved us."  ~1 John 4:19

Overdue Update

Thank you for your prayers, friends!  The Lord certainly honored them and worked in ways only He could.

Our meeting with Beautiful Girl (BG) on Saturday went very well -- way beyond our expectations.  When we were getting out of the van, she and her foster mother burst out the front door, yelling "HI!!!!!!!"  I was pleasantly surprised to say the least.  By all accounts, BG is extremely reserved - polite, but reserved and quiet.  She is just so, but she smiled, responded to questions, and even asked a few of her own.

Her foster mother (FM), a godly woman, was such a blessing in that she bridged the gap between BG and us.  Her FM reminds me of Sean in that she's friendly, vocal, and outspoken for the Lord.  She instantly put us at ease and undoubtedly helped give BG greater comfort.  

We were blessed to meet BG's brother near the end of our visit.  It was a joy to see BG light up when he arrived.  Their bond was undeniable as she jumped on his back, laughed, and passed notes back and forth.  :-)   Her brother is a very nice young man that we look forward to getting to know better.

More praises:  On Friday, when we read BG's file for 5 hours (with a lunch break in between), the Lord was at work in keeping Isaiah contented and occupied.  This had been a big concern of mine.  First, we were in a conference room with a big table and audio-visual equipment.  Although Isaiah could walk around, there wasn't much more for him to do, so it was looking like Sean would probably have to take him outside.  About 35 minutes into the file read, someone advised the caseworker that there had been an error in the conference room reservation and we would have to move to another room -- a visitation room!  The unanticipated room change was an answer to prayer because the visitation room contained lots of toys.  It was the perfect place to keep Isaiah busy while we read.

Finally, an ultimate praise goes to the Lord for the beautiful baptisms of Arielle, Rachel & Josiah on Sunday.  It's always a blessing to witness this act of obedience to the Lord.

Please continue to pray, as we will have day visits with BG in her hometown, tomorrow and Sunday.  This will be her first time meeting the three older children and her first time alone with our family.  Thank you!

Arielle, Josiah, & Rachel with their certificates of baptism

 "Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life."  ~Romans 6:4

In Christ, Talya 

Readings, Meetings, & Baptisms, Oh My!

So many exciting things are going on for us this weekend!

First, we will read Beautiful Girl's (BG) file at the agency tomorrow.  We'll be able to see everything the agency has about her since she entered care -- i.e. reasons for entering care, biological family history, medical history, placement history, etc. Sean and I will be note-taking crazy-people, since we can't make copies of anything, and this is several hour event.

Second, on Saturday morning, we will finally get to meet BG face-to-face!!!!  I am so excited and really nervous.  I want to say the right thing and do the right thing.  BG is already anxious and afraid, and we don't want to make it worse.  We'll get to spend a couple hours with her at her foster home, and we'll meet one of her brothers.  I want BG to love us, but love takes time, and it may never manifest in the way I would like it to.  What matters most is that we love her with no expectation of reciprocity.  We must love her with a supernatural love that comes only through Christ.

Third, Arielle, Rachel, and Josiah are being baptized on Sunday!  I praise the Lord that they have all made professions of faith over the past few years.  In the past, Sean and I have been cautious about moving forward with baptism.  We somehow felt it was our place to ferret out false conversion by seeking some unknown number of fruits of repentance in our children.  We've learned that our approach was promoting a works-based righteousness -- the opposite of what we find in scripture (see Ephesians 2:8-9).  God knows the heart and who truly belongs to Him and who doesn't; He doesn't need my help to figure it all out.

If you think of us in the next few days, please pray for us:

• safety as we travel out-of-town 
• peace in the home of the sweet family that is caring for Arielle, Rachel, & Josiah
• that we will be able to take notes on the critical information in BG's file
• that Isaiah will be in good spirits and that we're able to find ways to keep him occupied while we are at the agency
• that the Lord would give BG and her brother peace and that BG would cast her anxieties on the Lord
• that Arielle, Rachel, & Josiah's act of obedience in being baptized would bring glory to the Lord and that they would be more conformed to Christ each day

Thank you!  ~In Christ, Talya

"For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."  Ephesians 2:8-9

Approved!

This afternoon we got THE CALL -- the call that told us we have been officially approved to move forward in pursuing the adoption of Beautiful Girl (BG)!!!!!!  We are so excited!!!

So what happens next?  Sean and I will travel to the agency next week and read their file on BG.  It contains all the information they have about her since she entered foster care.  Sometime thereafter, we will get to meet her for the first time.  We are hoping we can stay in the area overnight and meet her the day after the file read.  It would be much more convenient to do it that way, since the agency, although located in our state, is a few hours away.  If that doesn't work out, then we think we will be able to meet her at the very end of the month.  Arielle, Rachel, & Josiah won't be present, but we may have Isaiah with us.

We will then have a series of visits with BG over a period 30-45 days or so.  Much of this will be based on BG's adjustment and her particular needs during the transition period.  First, we will meet with her in settings that are familiar to her -- e.g. her foster home, local park, etc., then we will have weekend visits.

I didn't want this day to pass without posting this brief update.  We are so grateful for what the Lord has done and is doing.  I am praying that I trust Him with the details.  Please pray for us as we work out the logistics and prepare to meet our new daughter!  Thank you.  ~In Christ, Talya

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."  ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Staffing Update

The staffing for Beautiful Girl (BG) was today.  You know I was checking email all day, right?  Honestly, I didn't expect to learn anything today, but I did.

I was called this afternoon and told the committee had a few additional questions for us.  They asked questions about home schooling, our plan for future adoptions, and our willingness to help BG maintain connections with important people in her life.  

I called Sean to discuss everything and typed up a statement with our honest answers.  

I wasn't told their recommendation, but I think the signs look good.  We have a few weeks to wait for an official answer.  Please continue to pray for us and BG.  ~In Christ, Talya

Humbled by His Grace

Over a week ago, I got a call from the adoption recruiter (she never calls me, only emails) telling us that the staffing to determine BG's forever family has been scheduled for February 20!!!  That's a month earlier than we had last been told and two weeks from the day of her call.  I was elated.  It got even better when I was told we were the only family left for consideration.  The other two families had dropped from the process.  WHAT!!!!????  With that piece of news, our chances of welcoming BG into our family increased significantly.  Now, it's still not a done deal, as formal recommendations and approvals must be made, but we are super-hopeful!

Once again, the Lord has shown and continues to show us His infinite grace throughout this circumstance, and I have been seriously humbled by it.  As I prayed and thanked the Lord for this news, I had to humble myself and ask for forgiveness for my lack of faith throughout this process.  I am humbled that He continues to bless us with His grace when we are so undeserving.

Believe me, I have gone through waves of anxiety, doubt and impatience as dates were pushed further and further back (see this post).  When we were told in January that the staffing would not take place until late March, we even thought of withdrawing our consideration of BG and looking at other children in the hopes the process would move faster.  We prayed... we sought counsel... we listened to sermons -- Charles Stanley has a great sermon on waiting on the Lord and trusting in His timing, found here.  Our faithfulness ebbed and flowed, but God's faithfulness never wavered.

Ultimately, the Lord pressed upon our hearts a commitment to BG until He closes that door, if it is His will.  I love her without knowing her.  We decided we needed to stay the course.  The Lord's plan and His timing are perfect.

When I trust Him, the Lord gives me a peace that reminds me that He is sovereign.  He's always working behind the scenes in ways I may never know.  There are even those sweet times when He makes the "big reveal"of something awesome that surpasses what we could have imagined.  Is He bringing us to His "big reveal"?  Yes, if we remain faithful.  His "big reveal" may not be what I hope it to be, i.e. BG joining our family, but it will be something that brings Him glory.  In the end, that's what we want.

Friends, please pray for us as we continue on this path:

• The staffing is scheduled to take place at 10:30 AM (central time) on Friday, 2/20.  
• Pray for wisdom for the professionals who are making the decision.
• Pray that we would trust the Lord and walk in obedience no matter the outcome.
• Pray for protection for our family's hearts and BG's heart.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"  ~Psalm 27:14

"May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord."  ~2 Peter 1:2

Thank you!  ~In Christ, Talya

Isaiah's Family Day!!!! & Thanks

I can hardly believe it's been a year since we met our son and held him in our arms for the first time.  We tirelessly spent two days driving and hadn't even checked into our hotel when we arrived at Covenant Care for the paperwork and placement ceremony.  I can tell you I was so nervous that I had to keep running to the... well, I'll spare you the details.  It amazes me how the Lord has joined our hearts together in love for this little boy, who brings such joy to each one of us.  Please enjoy our placement video: 

I would like to once again thank our local church family who loved us, cared for us, and prayed for us a year ago and throughout this past year.  The love you have shown our family, and especially Isaiah, has far exceeded anything we could have imagined.

I would like to thank family and friends who prayed for us, sent encouraging messages and gifts, and opened your homes to us in fellowship.

Thanks to all the staff at Christian Family Services and Covenant Care, you too Jill :-) , who had a hand in Isaiah's adoption.  I can't forget to thank our attorney and the judge who signed off on the adoption decree.

A most special and heartfelt gratitude to P, Isaiah's birth mother.  She chose life for him in a world that would encourage her to do otherwise.  I hope one day to get to meet her and give her a hug for choosing us to receive one of our biggest, most precious blessings.

We love you!

To God be the glory!!!!  ~In Christ, Talya

Isaiah's First Birthday in Pictures

Yesterday, December 21, we were blessed to celebrate Isaiah's first birthday.  It's amazing to think that a year ago, we had no idea our son was being born one thousand miles away.  God knew His plan for this precious little boy and our family -- what a blessing that we didn't need to know the details.  Three-and-a-half weeks later we would be holding Isaiah in our arms!  To God be the glory!

 He's one and he's on the move.  Gotta catch him when you can!

 I love my littlest boy!

 So does his daddy!
(Can you find Arielle in this picture?)

Not quite as planned, but feel the sibling love --
Isaiah felt it so much he had to close his eyes!

 Opening presents

 "I'm not sure I understand this gift opening thing..."

 Patiently awaiting CAKE!!!

CAKE!!!!!!

It's all 

been so worth it!

~In Christ, Talya

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above..."  ~James 1:17a

Somewhat of a Setback?

Today I was informed that yet another family is interested in BG.  To my knowledge, that makes three of us.  That's a blessing for BG in that the chances of finding a family to best fit her needs are greater.

On the other hand, the extended wait is excruciating for us.  Since the new family expressed their interest recently, the staff is determining if this family meets their criteria for consideration and if the family is interested in proceeding once they know more information.  If the plan is to move forward, BG's BIS (Best Interest Staffing) will not be for at least another 60 days.  If the new family bows out, then the BIS might take place in early January.

When we first started this process, we were concerned that our need to get so much stuff done and approved might be an unreasonable delay for BG in joining her forever family.  After all, another family was already interested and we had not yet started the lengthy process.  After prayer and asking some questions, we decided to proceed.  Originally, the thought was that the BIS would take place around late November/early December.  Now that we are looking at possibly February, I will admit I'm disappointed.

You know how sometimes you talk a good spiritual game about how you'll trust the Lord and be patient and content and..... yes, all that.  Well, sometimes, I fail miserably and this is one of those times.  Our adoption journey has been a rocky one for the past 4 1/2 years (with one really awesome high named, Isaiah!).  I am grateful to the Lord for what we've gone through and I'm hopeful, but I get discouraged.  Setbacks like this have me thinking that maybe they think this other family is a better fit than us and that we are just setting ourselves up for a huge letdown.

Okay, another secret.  When you are hoping to adopt, and especially when you've been chosen by a birth mother or met the child or identified a child that you hope will be your daughter, you begin to love that child.  You start making plans.  As much as you try to maintain a sort of detachment, you really can't... or at least I can't.  It's just like that moment when I would find out I was pregnant.  I would start planning our lives with the new addition even though he or she was microscopic in size.  I instantly loved that child.  Sometimes I would hold a beautiful baby at the end of the pregnancy and at other times I mourned the death of our child.  It's a tough road when faced with the reality that our hopes and dreams may not come to fruition.

I know the Lord has a plan for our family and for BG.  And all is not lost for our hope BG will join our family, but this road is not always easy.

In Christ, Talya

We're at It Again! Part 2

The Lord has His special, all-knowing, all-powerful way of turning our plans upside down.  While I hope we are able to adopt another infant in the next few years, we are content and excited to follow this path of adoption through foster care.

So, where are we in the process?  

In July, we contacted the placing agency to express our interest in BG.  Another family had already expressed an interest, but they think it's best to have a couple families to choose from.  We had a phone consultation with the adoption recruiter, BG's caseworker, and a representative from the agency that completed our home study for Isaiah's adoption.  They told us more about BG and her background and asked if we still wanted to proceed.  Uh, yes! J

At the end of August, we began our 10 weeks of MAPP training, which ended on October 27.  In the middle of all that, we completed physicals, background checks, fingerprints, loads of paperwork, and requested references from some people we love and appreciate very much -- thanks, guys!  Even Josiah had to draw a picture of what his family would look like with BG as a part of it.

At the end of November, we had our home assessment visit.  Now, we are waiting for our home assessment update to be written, submitted and approved.  After that comes the huge step of the Best Interest Staffing (BIS).  It is at the BIS that BG's adoptive family will be chosen by the professionals involved in her case -- as far as I know, it will either be us or the other family.  We don't yet know when the staffing will be.  Although we think we are perfect for BG, the other family may be a better fit... only the Lord knows.

Please join us in prayer:

• That we will trust the Lord and continue to seek His guidance throughout this process
• That He will protect the hearts of all of us involved -- BG, the other family, and our family
• That we will not live in a spirit of fear over what may or may not come to pass
• That Sean and I will seek to parent any child in our home in ways that glorify Him
• That we will be sensitive to the needs of a child who comes from very hard places

In Christ, Talya
Find Part 1 here

We're at It Again! Part 1

We are in the process of pursuing a second adoption.  Yep, you read me right. This time through foster care.  We haven't been chosen yet, but we are very hopeful.  In July, just 2 1/2 months after we finalized Isaiah's adoption, I was gathering some information for a friend who was interested in finding out more about adoption.  As I prepared to send her the link to the photolistings of waiting children, I saw a picture of "Beautiful Girl", BG for short.  Of course, that's not her real name, but I'll call her BG for the sake of confidentiality and because she is just that -- a beautiful girl.

Truth be told, I had seen her photo a few weeks earlier -- yeah, I stalk the photolistings -- but my plan was to try to adopt one more infant before even considering adopting an older child or sibling group from foster care.  I had many reasons for this grand plan.

First, many domestic infant adoption programs have a maximum age limit of somewhere around 45. Some go as far as 48 if you are willing to adopt a Black baby.  Part of the rationale is that birth mothers are less likely to choose a couple that is around the ages of their own parents.  Since adopting this way ain't cheap (but it is doable J ), the wait time to be chosen can vary significantly, and Sean and I are 42 and 41, respectively, we will be quickly approaching some of the age limits, especially if we don't immediately focus our attention on saving and preparing for another adoption. Those age limits aren't present when adopting an older child from foster care, so I figured we'd have time to do that later.

Second, the idea of adjusting our lives to meet the rules and regulations of the state government and foster care system was a less than desirable task that required much more thought.  As Christians who believe what the Bible says AND home school AND physically discipline our children, we weren't sure we could successfully go through the process of MAPP classes (30 hours of group adoption training) and assessments without compromising our integrity.  I used to be an adoption social worker for a public agency.  When I left in 2001, the winds of change were already blowing in the some areas that I would strongly oppose if I were presently in that field.

Well, one day I was speaking to a Christian woman who shared that she and her husband were pursuing an adoption from foster care.  They had taken the classes and were waiting to get a few more things done before their child would be placed in their home.  WHAT?!  A real-life Christian standing in front of me that I actually knew and shared similar values with us is actually progressing through the process?  Tell me more.  After our conversation, Sean and I talked about the possibilities and our hearts began to soften toward the idea.

The Lord was preparing us for our current path because as soon as I saw BG and read her profile, I believed we would be the perfect family for her.  In Christ, Talya
Find Part 2 here

Finalization Day!

Here's Isaiah's Finalization Day in pictures!

 Isaiah looking cute

Isaiah slept through the whole hearing

 Right after the hearing with Judge Wiley

 Outside the courtroom after the hearing

 With our awesome adoption attorney, Kevin Kenney

 Time to eat!

Proud sisters

 Proud grandmother and brother

Proud parents!

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."  ~James 1:17   

In Christ, Talya

The Date is Set!!!

Although we were told of the tentative date for the finalization of Isaiah's adoption a month ago, we just got our official notification in the mail today!  Yes, the afternoon of April 30th it is!!!!  I'm just so excited to see the date and time typed out on a signed official court document -- Order for Hearing on Petition for Adoption.  It's real... it's coming!  Yes, I'm giddy with excitement!  This little boy, who was our son in our hearts from the moment we heard his story, will legally be our son.

Although I had visions of a big, festive bash, they were fleeting.  Our celebration will be low key.  My mother plans to be here, which will be nice, especially since none of our extended family has meet Isaiah yet.  We'll probably eat lunch at a restaurant nearby, eat cake a little later (shout out to Caroletta's Cakes in Macon, GA), and resume life as usual.  However, our lives will be forever changed as it is whenever a family is blessed with a new child.

Although finalization does not change the way we view our relationships, it does change some behind-the-scene things.  Most importantly, we will be considered Isaiah's permanent, legal parents -- legal custody will be transferred from the adoption agency to us.  We will have all the same legal rights to Isaiah as if he were our biological son  He will be issued a new birth certificate with the name we've given him and our names as parents (some people have major issues with this practice, but that's for another blog post).  We'll be able to apply for his social security number.  We will be able to do things like travel and make medical decisions for Isaiah without consulting the agency.

I'll admit, one thing I won't miss is the constant reporting of our lives to multiple entities.  I understand the purpose, but it does get old... quick.  However, we will continue to send monthly update letters to Isaiah's birth mother through the Georgia agency.  I see those letters as a line of connection between Isaiah and us and his birth family.  Hopefully, they will spark a face-to-face meeting one day.

As each day goes by, I'm still amazed at how the Lord knits families together, both by biology and by adoption.  Some families are unmistakable by their strong resemblance, but some are as varied as a box of Crayola crayons, yet there is a bonding thread that runs between  them all.  To God be the glory!!!  In Christ, Talya

"I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty." - 2 Cor. 6:18

Last Post Placement Visit

Yesterday, we had our third and last post-placement supervision visit from our case worker.  Post-placement visits are the social worker’s visits with the adoptive family after a child has been placed in a home for the purpose of adoption.  These are conducted to make sure the adoptive placement is a good fit for the child and the family.  The social worker is available to help with the adjustment, offering encouragement, advice and resources as needed.  She then writes a report that is submitted to the adoption agency, attorneys and ultimately the court.  Each state differs in number and frequency of the visits.  We were required to have them monthly until finalization.  For us, that worked out to three visits in anticipation of an April 30 finalization date.

I was really nervous about our first visit, since I didn’t know what to expect.  I shouldn’t have worried.  We love our worker, Heather, and should have known it would be enjoyable and relaxed.  Generally, she would ask how Isaiah was doing – if he’s had any doctor’s visits, eating habits, sleeping habits, developmental milestones.  She also asked how the bonding process was going.  That was a challenging question for me because it’s hard to know how bonded you are to a three month old.  From our end, we love Isaiah as we loved our other children at that age.  Now from his side of things, the bond is yet to be determined.  He smiles and seems contented and settled with us.  I guess that’s evidence of a bond.

Each visit was also a time to just talk about life in light of adoption.  We discussed joys and challenges.  We talked about our plans to visit extended family this summer so they can meet Isaiah.  It was nice to talk to someone who understands what we’re talking about, even if through a professional lens.

Overall, I looked forward to each visit and was sad to have them come to an end.  We spent time praying at the end of yesterday’s visit.  Sean prayed for Heather and she prayed for us.  It was such a sweet time.

Once Heather sends the report of this last visit to our attorney and he files it with the court, we should be all set for finalization on the 30^th!  In Christ, Talya

One Step Closer

Today we were notified that the termination of parental rights order and the agency consent to Isaiah's adoption -- our Georgia agency has legal custody of Isaiah until finalization and must give their consent -- are being forwarded to our attorney.  This means that Isaiah's birth father's parental rights were indeed terminated last week.  I believe that once our attorney files these documents with our local court and they are reviewed and found to be in order, we will be headed toward finalization on April 30!!!!  Yes, I said it... April 30!!!!  Lord willing, four weeks from today Isaiah will officially be our son!!!  I could scream!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  Okay, I feel better now.  :-)  In Christ, Talya  

"Father of the fatherless and protector of the widows is God in His holy habitation." ~Psalm 68:5

Bittersweet

This was one of the days I had been looking forward to since we first held Isaiah in our arms.  Now that it’s here, my feelings are surprisingly mixed.  What made today so significant?  Today was the hearing to terminate the parental rights (TPR) of Isaiah’s birth father.  Since his birth mother’s rights have already been terminated, the fact that his birth father did not sign relinquishment paperwork was the main potential obstacle on our road to adopting Isaiah.

Our agency assured us as much as they possibly could that they did not think the birth father would seek to assert his rights.  Such assurance offered comfort and for the past two months, the Lord has given me peace so as not to obsess over the matter.  However, I will admit I marked this date on the calendar with great anticipation.

Over the past few days, I’ve noted a shift in my feelings.  I’m no longer giddy with excitement over the birth father’s TPR hearing, but rather I feel a great, unexpected sadness.  So much about adoption is bittersweet -- Isaiah is experiencing loss and gain simultaneously.  The Lord is helping me understand that particular dichotomy more and more.  I feel a sense of loss for what Isaiah is losing – the last legal link to his birth family – permanently.  This precious baby boy is oblivious to the fact that he will no longer be legally tied to the people the Lord used to give him life… the people who, despite whatever circumstances they were facing, chose life for Isaiah and cared enough to make an adoption plan for him.

I pray that the Lord uses this bittersweet feeling to help me be more sensitive to Isaiah’s feelings during the years ahead.  I hope I will understand the conflicted moments he may have.  I pray we are able to answer his questions truthfully in a manner that brings the Lord glory.  I pray I always remember that Isaiah is not mine, nor is he ours, but he is the Lord’s.  Because he belongs to God, we are mere stewards over him and have been charged with bringing him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4b).  We know we are not his only family and we honestly love his birth family though we’ve never met them.  We want Isaiah to love them, too.

Isaiah means “the salvation of the Lord” and Stephen means “crowned”.  Our hope is that Isaiah is indeed one day “crowned with the salvation of the Lord” and that he is able to share the love of Christ with his birth family.  I don’t know if the order to terminate Isaiah’s birth father’s rights was actually signed today.  I didn’t hear anything… I guess no news is good news.  But I’m not rejoicing, I’m feeling a bit sad.  In Christ, Talya