Today I was informed that yet another family is interested in BG. To my knowledge, that makes three of us. That's a blessing for BG in that the chances of finding a family to best fit her needs are greater.
On the other hand, the extended wait is excruciating for us. Since the new family expressed their interest recently, the staff is determining if this family meets their criteria for consideration and if the family is interested in proceeding once they know more information. If the plan is to move forward, BG's BIS (Best Interest Staffing) will not be for at least another 60 days. If the new family bows out, then the BIS might take place in early January.
When we first started this process, we were concerned that our need to get so much stuff done and approved might be an unreasonable delay for BG in joining her forever family. After all, another family was already interested and we had not yet started the lengthy process. After prayer and asking some questions, we decided to proceed. Originally, the thought was that the BIS would take place around late November/early December. Now that we are looking at possibly February, I will admit I'm disappointed.
You know how sometimes you talk a good spiritual game about how you'll trust the Lord and be patient and content and..... yes, all that. Well, sometimes, I fail miserably and this is one of those times. Our adoption journey has been a rocky one for the past 4 1/2 years (with one really awesome high named, Isaiah!). I am grateful to the Lord for what we've gone through and I'm hopeful, but I get discouraged. Setbacks like this have me thinking that maybe they think this other family is a better fit than us and that we are just setting ourselves up for a huge letdown.
Okay, another secret. When you are hoping to adopt, and especially when you've been chosen by a birth mother or met the child or identified a child that you hope will be your daughter, you begin to love that child. You start making plans. As much as you try to maintain a sort of detachment, you really can't... or at least I can't. It's just like that moment when I would find out I was pregnant. I would start planning our lives with the new addition even though he or she was microscopic in size. I instantly loved that child. Sometimes I would hold a beautiful baby at the end of the pregnancy and at other times I mourned the death of our child. It's a tough road when faced with the reality that our hopes and dreams may not come to fruition.
I know the Lord has a plan for our family and for BG. And all is not lost for our hope BG will join our family, but this road is not always easy.
In Christ, Talya