Thursday, October 15, 2015

Months of Transition

BG and Arielle standing for life

This update is mainly for people to whom I have not spoken in the past several months.

BG did indeed move in on June 5.  While we were blessed to have the summer to work on the adjustment and build relationships, the journey continues and will continue for a while.  I'm thinking it takes a year or more to really hit the stride of being a cohesive family, depending on the people and the circumstances.  Nonetheless, the Lord has shown us so much grace so far.

BG fits so well into our family.  For the most part, the children are getting along the way most siblings do.  They like spending time together.  Every night the girls' room (all three sleep in the same room) is still like a slumber party.  Many nights involve stern reminders to "GO TO SLEEP!!!!!"

Are there tough times?  Yes, there are.  I can only imagine what it's like for BG to have to find her place in an already-established family, with its own rules, values, dynamics, expectations.  She's once again had to leave behind the people, places, and things she had come to know.  She's had to change her way of doing some things.  By far, she has had to make the most adjustment.  The other children experience their own growing pains as well.  They sometimes don't understand why BG is given latitude in some areas.  They have struggled with how to deal with conflict with BG.

As parents, Sean and I have had to choose our battles, acknowledging that some things aren't all that important.  On the other hand, we've had to learn what our non-negotiables are and stick with them.  Only over time have I gotten to know that BG actually likes rules and boundaries.  She likes to know explicitly what is expected of her.  She sometimes struggles with expressing herself, but she understands the need to do so and is working hard to communicate even when she doesn't really want to.

One of the most wonderful things about BG is that she loves the Lord and wants to please Him.  She was saved while with her foster mother.  It's a joy to see her reading her Bible.  She soaks it all in when Sean talks about Scripture during our Bible time.  In August, she decided she wanted to be baptized out of obedience to the Lord.  It was a precious moment to share with her.

BG's caseworker comes out every month for a home visit.  I think we are still on track to finalize in late November/early December.  They were supposed to file the Consent to Adopt at the end of September, but they realized they did not have BG's birth records, which are necessary for the filing.  They now need to request them.  This will delay things.  How much?  I have no idea.  We are planning to move back East late December or very early January, so I hope finalization comes before then.  Please join us in prayer that it will be so.  Trying to move before finalization has its own complexities that we would like to avoid, if possible.  ~In Christ, Talya

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."  ~John 14:18