This was one of the days I had been looking forward
to since we first held Isaiah in our arms.
Now that it’s here, my feelings are surprisingly mixed. What made today so significant? Today was the hearing to terminate the
parental rights (TPR) of Isaiah’s birth father.
Since his birth mother’s rights have already been terminated, the fact
that his birth father did not sign relinquishment paperwork was the main
potential obstacle on our road to adopting Isaiah.
Our agency assured us as much as they possibly could
that they did not think the birth father would seek to assert his rights. Such assurance offered comfort and for the
past two months, the Lord has given me peace so as not to obsess over the
matter. However, I will admit I marked
this date on the calendar with great anticipation.
Over the past few days, I’ve noted a shift in my
feelings. I’m no longer giddy with
excitement over the birth father’s TPR hearing, but rather I feel a great,
unexpected sadness. So much about
adoption is bittersweet -- Isaiah is experiencing loss and gain
simultaneously. The Lord is helping me understand
that particular dichotomy more and more.
I feel a sense of loss for what Isaiah is losing – the last legal link
to his birth family – permanently. This
precious baby boy is oblivious to the fact that he will no longer be legally
tied to the people the Lord used to give him life… the people who, despite
whatever circumstances they were facing, chose life for Isaiah and cared enough
to make an adoption plan for him.
I pray that the Lord uses this bittersweet feeling
to help me be more sensitive to Isaiah’s feelings during the years ahead. I hope I will understand the conflicted
moments he may have. I pray we are able
to answer his questions truthfully in a manner that brings the Lord glory. I pray I always remember that Isaiah is not mine, nor is he ours, but he is the Lord’s. Because he belongs to God, we are mere stewards
over him and have been charged with bringing him up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4b).
We know we are not his only family and we honestly love his birth family
though we’ve never met them. We want Isaiah to love them, too.
Isaiah means “the salvation of the Lord” and Stephen
means “crowned”. Our hope is that Isaiah
is indeed one day “crowned with the salvation of the Lord” and that he is able
to share the love of Christ with his birth family. I don’t know if the order to terminate Isaiah’s
birth father’s rights was actually signed today.
I didn’t hear anything… I guess no news is good news. But I’m not rejoicing, I’m feeling a bit sad. In Christ, Talya
