The Date is Set!!!

Although we were told of the tentative date for the finalization of Isaiah's adoption a month ago, we just got our official notification in the mail today!  Yes, the afternoon of April 30th it is!!!!  I'm just so excited to see the date and time typed out on a signed official court document -- Order for Hearing on Petition for Adoption.  It's real... it's coming!  Yes, I'm giddy with excitement!  This little boy, who was our son in our hearts from the moment we heard his story, will legally be our son.

Although I had visions of a big, festive bash, they were fleeting.  Our celebration will be low key.  My mother plans to be here, which will be nice, especially since none of our extended family has meet Isaiah yet.  We'll probably eat lunch at a restaurant nearby, eat cake a little later (shout out to Caroletta's Cakes in Macon, GA), and resume life as usual.  However, our lives will be forever changed as it is whenever a family is blessed with a new child.

Although finalization does not change the way we view our relationships, it does change some behind-the-scene things.  Most importantly, we will be considered Isaiah's permanent, legal parents -- legal custody will be transferred from the adoption agency to us.  We will have all the same legal rights to Isaiah as if he were our biological son  He will be issued a new birth certificate with the name we've given him and our names as parents (some people have major issues with this practice, but that's for another blog post).  We'll be able to apply for his social security number.  We will be able to do things like travel and make medical decisions for Isaiah without consulting the agency.

I'll admit, one thing I won't miss is the constant reporting of our lives to multiple entities.  I understand the purpose, but it does get old... quick.  However, we will continue to send monthly update letters to Isaiah's birth mother through the Georgia agency.  I see those letters as a line of connection between Isaiah and us and his birth family.  Hopefully, they will spark a face-to-face meeting one day.

As each day goes by, I'm still amazed at how the Lord knits families together, both by biology and by adoption.  Some families are unmistakable by their strong resemblance, but some are as varied as a box of Crayola crayons, yet there is a bonding thread that runs between  them all.  To God be the glory!!!  In Christ, Talya

"I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty." - 2 Cor. 6:18

Last Post Placement Visit

Yesterday, we had our third and last post-placement supervision visit from our case worker.  Post-placement visits are the social worker’s visits with the adoptive family after a child has been placed in a home for the purpose of adoption.  These are conducted to make sure the adoptive placement is a good fit for the child and the family.  The social worker is available to help with the adjustment, offering encouragement, advice and resources as needed.  She then writes a report that is submitted to the adoption agency, attorneys and ultimately the court.  Each state differs in number and frequency of the visits.  We were required to have them monthly until finalization.  For us, that worked out to three visits in anticipation of an April 30 finalization date.

I was really nervous about our first visit, since I didn’t know what to expect.  I shouldn’t have worried.  We love our worker, Heather, and should have known it would be enjoyable and relaxed.  Generally, she would ask how Isaiah was doing – if he’s had any doctor’s visits, eating habits, sleeping habits, developmental milestones.  She also asked how the bonding process was going.  That was a challenging question for me because it’s hard to know how bonded you are to a three month old.  From our end, we love Isaiah as we loved our other children at that age.  Now from his side of things, the bond is yet to be determined.  He smiles and seems contented and settled with us.  I guess that’s evidence of a bond.

Each visit was also a time to just talk about life in light of adoption.  We discussed joys and challenges.  We talked about our plans to visit extended family this summer so they can meet Isaiah.  It was nice to talk to someone who understands what we’re talking about, even if through a professional lens.

Overall, I looked forward to each visit and was sad to have them come to an end.  We spent time praying at the end of yesterday’s visit.  Sean prayed for Heather and she prayed for us.  It was such a sweet time.

Once Heather sends the report of this last visit to our attorney and he files it with the court, we should be all set for finalization on the 30^th!  In Christ, Talya

One Step Closer

Today we were notified that the termination of parental rights order and the agency consent to Isaiah's adoption -- our Georgia agency has legal custody of Isaiah until finalization and must give their consent -- are being forwarded to our attorney.  This means that Isaiah's birth father's parental rights were indeed terminated last week.  I believe that once our attorney files these documents with our local court and they are reviewed and found to be in order, we will be headed toward finalization on April 30!!!!  Yes, I said it... April 30!!!!  Lord willing, four weeks from today Isaiah will officially be our son!!!  I could scream!!!  AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  Okay, I feel better now.  :-)  In Christ, Talya  

"Father of the fatherless and protector of the widows is God in His holy habitation." ~Psalm 68:5

Bittersweet

This was one of the days I had been looking forward to since we first held Isaiah in our arms.  Now that it’s here, my feelings are surprisingly mixed.  What made today so significant?  Today was the hearing to terminate the parental rights (TPR) of Isaiah’s birth father.  Since his birth mother’s rights have already been terminated, the fact that his birth father did not sign relinquishment paperwork was the main potential obstacle on our road to adopting Isaiah.

Our agency assured us as much as they possibly could that they did not think the birth father would seek to assert his rights.  Such assurance offered comfort and for the past two months, the Lord has given me peace so as not to obsess over the matter.  However, I will admit I marked this date on the calendar with great anticipation.

Over the past few days, I’ve noted a shift in my feelings.  I’m no longer giddy with excitement over the birth father’s TPR hearing, but rather I feel a great, unexpected sadness.  So much about adoption is bittersweet -- Isaiah is experiencing loss and gain simultaneously.  The Lord is helping me understand that particular dichotomy more and more.  I feel a sense of loss for what Isaiah is losing – the last legal link to his birth family – permanently.  This precious baby boy is oblivious to the fact that he will no longer be legally tied to the people the Lord used to give him life… the people who, despite whatever circumstances they were facing, chose life for Isaiah and cared enough to make an adoption plan for him.

I pray that the Lord uses this bittersweet feeling to help me be more sensitive to Isaiah’s feelings during the years ahead.  I hope I will understand the conflicted moments he may have.  I pray we are able to answer his questions truthfully in a manner that brings the Lord glory.  I pray I always remember that Isaiah is not mine, nor is he ours, but he is the Lord’s.  Because he belongs to God, we are mere stewards over him and have been charged with bringing him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4b).  We know we are not his only family and we honestly love his birth family though we’ve never met them.  We want Isaiah to love them, too.

Isaiah means “the salvation of the Lord” and Stephen means “crowned”.  Our hope is that Isaiah is indeed one day “crowned with the salvation of the Lord” and that he is able to share the love of Christ with his birth family.  I don’t know if the order to terminate Isaiah’s birth father’s rights was actually signed today.  I didn’t hear anything… I guess no news is good news.  But I’m not rejoicing, I’m feeling a bit sad.  In Christ, Talya

Exciting Times

Since no one is aware of this blog, I feel relatively free to post that we will be heading to Georgia on Tuesday, January 14 (our 14th wedding anniversary by the way!) to meet a 3 1/2 week old baby boy in the hope of adopting him!!!!!!!!!  We hope to meet the little guy on Wednesday, January 15 (Arielle's 13th birthday).  We are soooooo excited!  It is a legal risk placement because the birth father has not yet signed over his parental rights.  So our enthusiasm is tempered ever so slightly, but we are trusting in the Lord to prepare our hearts for whatever the outcome may be.

After losing four babies to miscarriage (three of them consecutive), I know what it's like to get your and everyone else's hopes up only to have them dashed with grief.  I loathed the repeated explanations I had to give and the often hurtful, albeit well-intended, comments from those closest to me.  Likewise, throughout our adoption journey, we've had some extremely disappointing "false starts" for lack of a better term.  We've been chosen by birthparents three times, even to the point of meeting the child and scheduling visitation and placement date, but for varied reasons a child was not placed with us.

This situation finds us very hopeful... somewhat guarded, but very hopeful.  I've packed everything for the baby.  We kept everything from Josiah, so clothes, linen, car seat, stroller, swing, tub and many other items are taken care of.  The girls are starting to pack their things.  We had the joy of sharing the news with our church family today.  The outpouring of love and generosity was amazing.  We've only been at our church for a year, but honestly, everyone's reaction is not surprising -- they have always shown such love from our first Sunday there.  We so covet their prayers and were happy to share this journey with them.

Some points for specific prayer are as follows:

~ safe travel to Georgia
~ peace & salvation for birthparents
~ our hearts would be prepared for whatever outcome we face
~ our patience, wisdom & strength as we care for a newborn in a hotel room :-)
~ baby's health
~ Quick ICPC (Interstate Compact for Placement of Children) approval -- necessary to take the baby back home
~ that our other children will remain at peace and constructively engaged while spending lots of time in hotel room

To God be the glory in all things!  In Christ, Talya

Honored to Pray

This morning has already been a morning of prayer.  Every time I log onto Facebook, it seems I see another prayer request for someone.  Many times I know the person caring enough to post the request, but I don't know the people who need prayer.  The neat thing is that I don't need to know them -- the Lord does.  I am honored to lift up these individuals and their families before the Lord.  I have been blessed in the same way many times by people who did not know me personally but know the Lord -- and seriously, that's what matters most.

Today, I am honored to pray for a sister who struggling with liver-related issues, a young boy battling the complications of a brain tumor, a young pregnant woman whose heart rate skyrockets to dangerous levels, and a 6-year-old girl on life support whose transplanted heart is straining to function properly.  If anyone reads this, which is doubtful because I haven't shared the existence of this blog yet -- but you never know who may stumble upon it -- please pray for these people through their challenges. 

"The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.  Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth.   Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit."  ~James 5:16b-18

In Christ, Talya

Just Posting Today

I started this blog two years ago as an experiment. My first and primary blog was a homeschoolblogger blog. They had been going through some changes with their formatting, and I wondered if I would like blogger better. I decided to start a quick blog on blogger to assess the ease of posting and fiddle with the layouts, but I realized I really didn't blog anymore anyway, so I never did anything on here beyond my first Civil War post.

Well, here I am. Homeschoolblogger is no more, but blogger remains. I still don't anticipate posting on a regular basis. My intent was always to post as the Lord gives me something worth writing. It seems that those times are few and far between now. I get into enough trouble posting stuff on Facebook; I'm not sure I want to wade back into potentially controversial blog posts.

I've learned I don't handle disagreement very well. I used to think I did, especially before I was saved and had no standard for my beliefs anyway. I was solidly on the "believe what you want to believe... it's all good" bandwagon. Now that I know the Lord and know how important belief on Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior is, I don't handle disagreement well at all. The stakes are higher now. Disagreement about things of the Lord, most specifically from people professing to believe in Jesus Christ, bothers me the most. It stresses me, angers me, bothers me and all of the above. Let me qualify, I can better handle a thought out disagreement based on Scripture than disagreement based on random feelings, experiences, the news, or Oprah.

Sometimes I feel I should only post about universally fun things -- baking cookies, my child learning to add 2+2, "What I Did on My Summer Vacation". Life would be much easier and I wouldn't feel heart palpitations as I approach my computer screen to read someone's response. I wouldn't have to be reminded to pray before I post or respond because baking cookies is... well... baking cookies (unless I talk about organic vs. conventional, whole foods vs. synthetic foods... oh, the list goes on and on and would plunge me into further depths). Okay, back to happy things -- I certainly wouldn't have to search the Scriptures to truly understand what the Lord is really saying about the topic du jour. I wouldn't be forced to admit that my understanding was in error and I must apologize. No, posting about baking cookies would absolve me of such angst.

BUT... where would be the challenge in taking the safe route? Where would be the refinement? Where would be the opportunity for the Lord to be glorified in my words and interactions with others? Where would I be reminded to crucify my prideful flesh and minister grace to my brother or sister in my responses? Where would I have the opportunity to share the message of the Gospel? I mean it's a little challenging to transition from baking cookies to the Gospel -- "Oh no, I burnt my cookies, but that only happened because we are all born sinners, depraved at heart." I'm not sure that was the smoothest transition.

In the end, it's most important that I post things that would glorify the Lord, challenge myself and others, and build up my brothers and sisters in the Lord. Sometimes that might be a post about baking cookies, but at other times that might be a post about false teachers. Lord willing I will post again sometime soon. In Christ, Talya