10 Years Ago... Our Italian Adventure Began

View of Vicenza, Italy from Monte Berico

Today marks exactly 10 years since Arielle, Rachel, and I boarded the first airplane on our journey to join Sean in Vicenza, Italy.  It was the girls' first flight.  All of us were giddy with excitement.  I mean seriously... Italy?  Italian food... beautiful scenery... fertile soil to grow something, anything... learning Italian... jet-setting through Europe.  At least, those were the things I was thinking about.  The girls were most excited about the plane ride.  

At our gate at BWI, waiting to board our plane

Arielle, age 5, was my little trooper, pulling luggage while carrying her own backpack.  Rachel, though only 2, did me the greatest service she could have ever done -- she did not pee in her seats when she fell asleep during the flights.  I can't tell you how anxious I was about this.  I watched that child like a hawk when she went to sleep, like I would see some sign before the deed was done.  

On the plane and Rachel is asleep.  Yes, I watched her to make sure there were no accidents in the seat!  Until I fell asleep, of course.  :-)

We flew from Baltimore-Washington International Airport to O'Hare (Chicago) to Heathrow (London).  After a 6 hour layover, we flew our last leg to Vicenza.  

I must note that the only thing I remember from that last flight was the flight attendant beginning the seat belt demonstration.  The next thing I remember was the announcement to tell us we were approaching Vicenza.  The same flight attendant kindly watched me as I awoke in a sleepy haze, smiled, and remarked in her British accent, "You must be at the end of a long journey."  Little did she know that the journey was just beginning...

Sean and the girls on the playground behind our house the day after we arrived 

Overall, our stay in Italy was bittersweet for me.  It was mostly sweet in that we met some wonderful people, grew in the Lord, saw so many beautiful places, ate delicious food, and added our precious Josiah to our family.  The bitter part was not really Italy's fault... Italy just happened to be the backdrop of a life-altering health crisis.  We ended up leaving six months early, after two-and-a-half years.

I could post so many pictures of people and places and write chapters and chapters about our experiences, but I won't do that this time.  However, I will share photos of but a few of the wonderful people we met during our first six months in Italy:  

Erika (right) and her family had us over for Christmas dinner.  

They had  arrived in Italy only a few weeks earlier.

Ja'Net, me, April at Palladio Mall

Laura and Liam

The Davis Family when there were only three of them!

Sean and Terry in Genoa

Karol and I on our way to Venice

Pastor Drylie from Vicenza Baptist, the first church we attended

Here we are on our way to Venice and the Peggy Guggenheim Museum.

The Heck Family

It's hard to believe ten years have gone by already.  Sometimes it seems like yesterday that we were exploring downtown Vicenza.  Then at other times, it seems like it was a lifetime ago, a dream.  I am grateful to the Lord for sending us to Italy.  He taught us MANY, MANY (did I say, MANY?) lessons.  Our time there was truly once-in-a-lifetime.  In Christ, Talya

Why I Vote... or Don't Vote... the Way I Do

I did not vote in the last two presidential elections.  There, I said it.  I am not ashamed.  No need to blame me for the state of the country.  No need to attempt to convince me that I am obligated to vote because our ancestors fought for the right or I have a biblical responsibility.  I appreciate the right, am very conscious of it, and do not take voting lightly – that’s why I did not vote.

I want to make it clear that I am not “anti-voting” on its face.  I do not believe that anyone should haphazardly withdraw from the political process without any thought.  However, I am anti-irresponsible voting.  I am anti-uninformed voting.  I am anti-race-based voting.  I am anti-party-based voting.  As a Christian, I am anti-throw-Biblical-principles-to-the-wind voting.

I did not vote in the last two elections because I could not in good conscience vote for either candidate.  My criteria for choosing a candidate is very simple.   During any election season, I look to scripture, particularly Exodus 18, to guide my decision-making.  In chapter 18, Moses had been acting judge over all the people of Israel and was becoming overwhelmed by the magnitude of the job.  His father-in-law Jethro counseled his weary son-in-law to appoint other men to judge the smaller matters, thus lightening Moses’ workload.  Jethro advised Moses of the kind of men he should seek out for the job:  “Moreover, look for able men from all the people, men who fear God, who are trustworthy and hate a bribe, and place such men over the people as chiefs of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties, and of tens.” (Exodus 18:21)

I look for a candidate who professes faith in Christ and whose life, voting record, and platform support that profession.  I look at his stances on issues that I believe reflect an understanding of the character of God.  I am less concerned with who will put the most money in my pocket than who will uphold biblical principles concerning such issues as the sanctity of life.  I also expect the candidate’s faith to be important to him and that it should be apparent -- not a hidden aspect of his life.  If his positions are not based on faith in Christ, no matter how closely they mirror what I may believe to be biblical, I cannot trust that he will not change his mind on an issue with the blowing of the wind.  There is no sure foundation for what he believes.

I look for a trustworthy candidate.  I can only see so much of a candidate’s  private life, but what I am able to see should be marked by integrity.  Perfection?  No.  General integrity?  Yes.  In his public life, I look for consistency in standing for Biblical principles.  I would also expect him to deal honestly in his personal and professional business.  If he cannot be trusted in his daily affairs, how can he be trusted to run our country?

Finally, is he capable of the job?  Has he shown leadership abilities or does he seem to buckle under pressure?  Does he have knowledge of the issues he will be required to confront, or has he surrounded himself with trusted advisors to help with the learning curve?  Is he a biological male and identifies as such… yes, that’s where I must go in my specificity.  I would not support a woman, especially one who is charged with caring for a husband and children, in a presidential election.  I will leave it at that or this post will be much, much longer.

If I look at the field of candidates and find these qualities missing, I do not vote.

I do not vote for the “lesser of two evils”, as I hope to never knowingly vote for an “evil” be they lesser or not.

I do not see my vote as a vote against another candidate.   By that I mean, I do not think, “Well, I don’t really support either candidate A or candidate B, but I will go ahead and vote for B because I am really voting against A.”  Umm, no, you are casting your vote in SUPPORT of candidate B.  Votes are not counted as votes AGAINST a candidate but as votes FOR a candidate.

I am a conscience voter, not a strategic voter.  If I vote for a candidate, it is because I can do so with a clear conscience, whether they have a snowball’s chance to win or not.  If I vote, I try to vote in way that I believe would please the Lord according to the knowledge that I have at the time.  I do not look at the statistics and try to figure out how my vote for a candidate who has little chance of winning the nomination will affect the chances that an opposing candidate will achieve the nomination.  I no longer have the brain power for such mental gymnastics, nor do I have a desire for such.  If the Lord were to ask me about my voting record, I don’t think he’ll ask me why I didn’t vote for the winning candidate.  I think He would ask me if I voted for a candidate who upheld His principles.

Will I vote this election cycle?  Possibly.  Because we are now settled in our new state, with no moves on the horizon, I am more inclined to consider voting in the primary, as well as the local elections.  Honestly, I never paid the primaries much attention, and by the time the general election would roll around, the two candidates were not suitable, so I would decline to vote.  This time I may indeed vote in the primary.  I have until March 15^th to figure it out.  However, as I look at the present delegate count, I have a feeling I won’t be voting in the general election.

I think this election season has brought many people to the point where they are truly considering not voting.  I say pray for those who do vote, pray for the candidates, pray for our country,  and press on.  Let no one shame you or guilt you into going against your conscience.  Let no one imply that you are not fulfilling your civic or biblical duty.  I say, “Poppycock!”  Romans 13:1 tells us that God appoints who He wants in authority and isn’t thwarted by anyone’s vote or lack thereof – “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.” 

As believers, we must rest in the comfort that God is sovereign over all, including who will be our next president.  We must take comfort that whatever He accomplishes through this election will be for His purpose.  Let us be obedient in walking righteously before God and before all men, choosing that which is pleasing to God.  In Christ, Talya

Humbled by His Grace

Over a week ago, I got a call from the adoption recruiter (she never calls me, only emails) telling us that the staffing to determine BG's forever family has been scheduled for February 20!!!  That's a month earlier than we had last been told and two weeks from the day of her call.  I was elated.  It got even better when I was told we were the only family left for consideration.  The other two families had dropped from the process.  WHAT!!!!????  With that piece of news, our chances of welcoming BG into our family increased significantly.  Now, it's still not a done deal, as formal recommendations and approvals must be made, but we are super-hopeful!

Once again, the Lord has shown and continues to show us His infinite grace throughout this circumstance, and I have been seriously humbled by it.  As I prayed and thanked the Lord for this news, I had to humble myself and ask for forgiveness for my lack of faith throughout this process.  I am humbled that He continues to bless us with His grace when we are so undeserving.

Believe me, I have gone through waves of anxiety, doubt and impatience as dates were pushed further and further back (see this post).  When we were told in January that the staffing would not take place until late March, we even thought of withdrawing our consideration of BG and looking at other children in the hopes the process would move faster.  We prayed... we sought counsel... we listened to sermons -- Charles Stanley has a great sermon on waiting on the Lord and trusting in His timing, found here.  Our faithfulness ebbed and flowed, but God's faithfulness never wavered.

Ultimately, the Lord pressed upon our hearts a commitment to BG until He closes that door, if it is His will.  I love her without knowing her.  We decided we needed to stay the course.  The Lord's plan and His timing are perfect.

When I trust Him, the Lord gives me a peace that reminds me that He is sovereign.  He's always working behind the scenes in ways I may never know.  There are even those sweet times when He makes the "big reveal"of something awesome that surpasses what we could have imagined.  Is He bringing us to His "big reveal"?  Yes, if we remain faithful.  His "big reveal" may not be what I hope it to be, i.e. BG joining our family, but it will be something that brings Him glory.  In the end, that's what we want.

Friends, please pray for us as we continue on this path:

• The staffing is scheduled to take place at 10:30 AM (central time) on Friday, 2/20.  
• Pray for wisdom for the professionals who are making the decision.
• Pray that we would trust the Lord and walk in obedience no matter the outcome.
• Pray for protection for our family's hearts and BG's heart.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"  ~Psalm 27:14

"May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord."  ~2 Peter 1:2

Thank you!  ~In Christ, Talya

Happy 11th Birthday, Rachel... In Pictures

Today, the Hooker family celebrates another wonderful January event -- Rachel's 11th birthday!  I am grateful to the Lord for my Pooty Tooty and her sensitive, affectionate ways.  I feel truly blessed to be chosen to be her mommy.

At birth

10 1/2 months

4 years

6 years

8 years

11 years TODAY!!

In Christ, Talya

Psalm 127:3a  "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord..."

Isaiah's Family Day!!!! & Thanks

I can hardly believe it's been a year since we met our son and held him in our arms for the first time.  We tirelessly spent two days driving and hadn't even checked into our hotel when we arrived at Covenant Care for the paperwork and placement ceremony.  I can tell you I was so nervous that I had to keep running to the... well, I'll spare you the details.  It amazes me how the Lord has joined our hearts together in love for this little boy, who brings such joy to each one of us.  Please enjoy our placement video: 

I would like to once again thank our local church family who loved us, cared for us, and prayed for us a year ago and throughout this past year.  The love you have shown our family, and especially Isaiah, has far exceeded anything we could have imagined.

I would like to thank family and friends who prayed for us, sent encouraging messages and gifts, and opened your homes to us in fellowship.

Thanks to all the staff at Christian Family Services and Covenant Care, you too Jill :-) , who had a hand in Isaiah's adoption.  I can't forget to thank our attorney and the judge who signed off on the adoption decree.

A most special and heartfelt gratitude to P, Isaiah's birth mother.  She chose life for him in a world that would encourage her to do otherwise.  I hope one day to get to meet her and give her a hug for choosing us to receive one of our biggest, most precious blessings.

We love you!

To God be the glory!!!!  ~In Christ, Talya

15 Years Ago...

I am grateful for 15 years with my love... Yesterday, today, and years to come...

Our Wedding Day -- January 14, 2000

Today...

In Christ, Talya (This was posted a day after our actual anniversary)

Somewhat of a Setback?

Today I was informed that yet another family is interested in BG.  To my knowledge, that makes three of us.  That's a blessing for BG in that the chances of finding a family to best fit her needs are greater.

On the other hand, the extended wait is excruciating for us.  Since the new family expressed their interest recently, the staff is determining if this family meets their criteria for consideration and if the family is interested in proceeding once they know more information.  If the plan is to move forward, BG's BIS (Best Interest Staffing) will not be for at least another 60 days.  If the new family bows out, then the BIS might take place in early January.

When we first started this process, we were concerned that our need to get so much stuff done and approved might be an unreasonable delay for BG in joining her forever family.  After all, another family was already interested and we had not yet started the lengthy process.  After prayer and asking some questions, we decided to proceed.  Originally, the thought was that the BIS would take place around late November/early December.  Now that we are looking at possibly February, I will admit I'm disappointed.

You know how sometimes you talk a good spiritual game about how you'll trust the Lord and be patient and content and..... yes, all that.  Well, sometimes, I fail miserably and this is one of those times.  Our adoption journey has been a rocky one for the past 4 1/2 years (with one really awesome high named, Isaiah!).  I am grateful to the Lord for what we've gone through and I'm hopeful, but I get discouraged.  Setbacks like this have me thinking that maybe they think this other family is a better fit than us and that we are just setting ourselves up for a huge letdown.

Okay, another secret.  When you are hoping to adopt, and especially when you've been chosen by a birth mother or met the child or identified a child that you hope will be your daughter, you begin to love that child.  You start making plans.  As much as you try to maintain a sort of detachment, you really can't... or at least I can't.  It's just like that moment when I would find out I was pregnant.  I would start planning our lives with the new addition even though he or she was microscopic in size.  I instantly loved that child.  Sometimes I would hold a beautiful baby at the end of the pregnancy and at other times I mourned the death of our child.  It's a tough road when faced with the reality that our hopes and dreams may not come to fruition.

I know the Lord has a plan for our family and for BG.  And all is not lost for our hope BG will join our family, but this road is not always easy.

In Christ, Talya

The Magnetism of Racial Comfort

Sometimes I want to deny it’s there.  And for many, depending on your make up and your experiences, this may not be something you encounter.  Well, yesterday, I experienced a phenomenon I’ll call “racial comfort” for lack of a better term.  Some people may not “get” this post and that’s okay.  Maybe this post is more for me anyway.  Maybe I’m just letting you into my thoughts.

Yesterday, Isaiah was getting a little restless, so I sat with him in the lobby of our small church, near the front door.  We were about 45 minutes into the service, so I was somewhat surprised when an older Black woman entered the church  – surprised because we were already 45 minutes into service and surprised because she was Black (more about that in a second).  She looked through the windows on the doors to the sanctuary and explained that she had dropped her daughter and grandsons off and had gone to get money for the offering.  They had been trying to locate another church, but ended up at our church instead and decided to stay.  She didn’t want to enter the sanctuary while the pastor was speaking, so she sat in the chair next to mine and began talking to me and Isaiah.  She told me a little about herself, sat forward and said, “Let me hold that baby.”  Isaiah nestled in that woman’s bosom and drifted off to sleep.  As I watched this woman and listened to her, I was drawn to her.  I felt an instant comfort and connection that I hadn’t felt in while.  Why?  Let me explain.

I lived a great deal of my childhood and most of my adult life traversing a world where I was either the only or one of very few Black people.  We often lived in areas that were majority White.  Third through sixth grade, I was the only Black child.  In the eighth grade, there were me, another Black girl and a biracial girl who did not want to identify as any part of Black and teased me for being Black.  In college, we prided ourselves at being “minority students”, making up only around 10% of the student body.   I was often only one of a few Black people at my places of employment.  Even in my present church life with my own family, we have been part of majority White congregations since 2003.  I’m used to it.  We are all part of God’s created human race and I love my brothers and sisters of other skin colors and cultures.

But yesterday, when that Black woman walked through the door with her short, heavy-set stature, take-charge demeanor, dressed in her Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes, pantyhose, heels, smelling of perfume – I was taken home… a home where comfort was found among my Black family.  Though this woman was likely only a few years older than my parents and didn’t bear a particular resemblance to my relatives, she was familiar.  I knew her.  She reminded me of the times I watched my grandmother get ready for church, hearing the swish, swish of her pantyhose as she walked.  She reminded me of Sunday dinners – fried chicken, greens, macaroni & cheese and cornbread.  She reminded me of a comforting hug that only “Grandma” can give.  I didn’t realize until today, how much I missed those things.

You might ask if it was her race that was so important.  You might say, maybe an older White woman with those same qualities would have evoked those same emotions, those same memories.  I will admit there are a few White brothers and sisters at our church who take me close to home from time-to-time.   It might be a phrase they use, something they wear, or a story they tell that takes me almost there.  But as the saying goes, “almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades”.  It’s the whole package that takes me home – Black skin and a certain “way” she has about herself round out the package. 

Before anyone thinks I’ve gone off the racial deep end, I truly understand that ultimately my comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3) and my home (dwelling place, Psalm 90:1) are found in the Lord.  However, I believe the Lord gave me a little gift yesterday in the comfort of the familiar. 

I don't know if anyone will be able to relate to what I’ve written.  Honestly, I probably haven’t conveyed my thoughts in the most coherent fashion anyway.  But like I said at the beginning, I think maybe this post is more for me and I’m just letting you in.  In Christ, Talya

Honored to Pray

This morning has already been a morning of prayer.  Every time I log onto Facebook, it seems I see another prayer request for someone.  Many times I know the person caring enough to post the request, but I don't know the people who need prayer.  The neat thing is that I don't need to know them -- the Lord does.  I am honored to lift up these individuals and their families before the Lord.  I have been blessed in the same way many times by people who did not know me personally but know the Lord -- and seriously, that's what matters most.

Today, I am honored to pray for a sister who struggling with liver-related issues, a young boy battling the complications of a brain tumor, a young pregnant woman whose heart rate skyrockets to dangerous levels, and a 6-year-old girl on life support whose transplanted heart is straining to function properly.  If anyone reads this, which is doubtful because I haven't shared the existence of this blog yet -- but you never know who may stumble upon it -- please pray for these people through their challenges. 

"The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.  Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth.   Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit."  ~James 5:16b-18

In Christ, Talya